Iron Man 2 Comic Series 3.75" Iron Monger

Just when you thought Iron Man 2 fever was over, BAM, they hit us with the DVD and a couple of new waves of toys.

Well, alongside Advanced Armor, Arctic Armor, Silver Centurion armor, and a second run of Comic Series Hulkbuster, this brand new Comic Series Iron Monger comes as part of the first new wave.

It's very unlike the version that is the beast of the1st movie.  It's very much closer to being spot on color and design-wise to the comic book version.

But just as I thought we were getting away with another all new Hasbro creation, surprise surprise, Iron Man 2 Comic Series 3.75" Iron Monger turned out to be not as new as it looks...

Iron Man 2 Concept Series 3.75" 3-Pack: Proving Ground

This review was intended to be posted on Articulated Discussion but unfortunately, the site is closed for repair.  Hopefully, ithe gremlins don't keep it down too long.  For now though, the next two reviews I was gonna do over there are well, over here on Chase Variant, so pardon the change in format.  For those of you who don't frequent the fabulous site run by The Articulated One, well, this paragrapgh is gibberish.  Bleargh.  But get well soon, AD.  What would we do without TAO, the ORIGINAL Wes, and Dr (of dirty jibes) Nightmare?  Read stuff here, of course! :P  Just kidding.  But please read on still.

Oh and the site may e down, but you can still read the archived reviews, a whole bunch of which are ones I did for Iron Man 2 figures!  Yay!

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While I've done reviews comparing two figures, I've never attempted three.  Can't help it this time.  I don't wanna be a tease with this trio of toy goodness by taking a look at them one by one.  I'll be trying to do what I'm worst at: keeping reviews short!  But with three figures on hand, prepare for a colossal armor-fest of Iron Man 2 proportions, featuring 3 very familiar sculpts!

GI Joe 3.75" Pursuit of Cobra: Recondo

Stalking Recondo
In the jungles of Congo,
Once you had hair,
Now you're a baldo.

Jesse Recondo,
You look more like Gung-Ho,
I say you're Edward Norton,
Chubbier, with a mustachio...

I knew my major in Creative Writing would come to goood use some day.  Yup.

Like all the rest of these figures getting a push in the Pursuit of Cobra Jungle theme (excepting Duke), I really have no connection or love whatsoever for the character.  Except for my masterpiece of a poem up there. :P That's why I'm not bothered that he looks more like Gung-Ho or should have hair etc.  I'm kinda neutral about the Recondo character.

But enter a hint of a Predator theme and tons of references toward the original cult classic and BAM!  Suddenly I'm all in.  So there was no hesitation when I saw this guy on the pegs in a local store, heck, there was no hesitation once I saw the solicitation pics of him online!  I was going to get him come hell or high water!

Why?  Four Words:

Jesse "The Body" Ventura.


It's not that I actually liked the guy or his character during his wrestling days.  I mean, what kinda of a man wears a feather boa, bandanna, and tights?  Well nowadays, most everyone but when I was a kid, it was strange to say the least.

I kinda of liked him a little bit better when he first took over as governor of Minnesota--I was headed up there for college and most people seemed to like him then, especially when he had a nice bald head and returned them tax money at the end of the year.  Or something like that.

But then Minnesotans started to turn on him when things got heavy and he started to go a little crazy.  It was kinda not cool to say you liked The Governor back then.  So I didn't.  And he grew out his hair, or what was left of it.

But it was really these two classic quotable quotes from Predator which just made Recondo come alive and revive the Blain character in the Ventura of old:

"I ain't got time to bleed."

"This stuff'll make you a goddamn a sexual tyrannosaurus.  Just like me."

How can you that not catch your attention?  And really, the poor guy, for all his tough talking, didn't really get a good shot off at the Predator before the guy put a hole in his chest the size of, well, his chest.  But like Billy Sole (POC Spirit: Iron Knife), Blain has been immortalized in 3.75 inch scale plastic and will forever live on in our playrooms/on our display shelves.

And was it a good immortalization?  Well, I ain't got time for jibber-jabber so jump on over!

Masters of the Universe Classics Faker

Now this rare variant of He-Man is pretty tough to find, so tough that the only place you're likely to find him is in the Royal Palace trash.  (Or at Mattycollector.com.)  But for those of you lucky enough to find him on the shelves of specialty stores or buy him off said website, you'll have to beware that you don't end up buying the original He-Man instead.

For you see, there are very minute differences that make this He-Man variant very unique in his own right.  If not for these, they'd look so alike that even the real Masters of the Universe wouldn't even be able to tell them apart.  But we are way smarter!  For example, did you notice the bluish tone to his shin?  Yup, that's the first clue that this guy is not simply the original re-release.

Other differences include the slightly red-brown hair, red eyes (betcha almost missed that), and get this--if you look closely enough, you'll see that his leather harness is not He-man's, but a repainted version of Skeletor's!

I got this funky variant at a good local price of S$45 (US$32),which is a good $5-8 under the usual prices at the local specialty stores.  Upon cracking the package open, I discovered that he's got a VHS tape player on his chest!  That's a sweet Easter egg of a difference to set him apart for your average original He-Man release.

Also, don't be thrown off by the name they give you one the package--Faker.  This guy's the real deal!  He's really He-Man!  He's the truest, most original He-Man variant you'll ever find.  He's so close to the real thing that you might even think of him as a genuine fake.  Don't believe it?  Well, click on and see, non-true-believers!

Comic of the Day: Na'vi Lovin'!

What happens when you put all your favourite blue-skinned sci-fi/fantasy characters of the 80s till today together?  You get some hot Na'vi lovin', that's what.

Today, I have special guest 3B, who came up with this hilarious look at blue-skinned intamacy.  It all came about when I commented on my Keldor review that I must be a Na'vi lover for thinking he was handsome (Keldor, not 3B).  Novelty gagged.  Well, 3B agreed that he was, and roguishly so at that. (Again, Keldor, not Novelty.)  And this is a product of all that brotherly love...Enjoy!

Well, if you dig that Neytiri and want to connect with her the right way, hop on over to Killer B Hive, where 3B reviews the "big, blue, baddass babe," in his own words.  Enjoy that too!

GI Joe 3.75" Pursuit of Cobra: Spirit Iron Knife

BEE-LLEEEEEEEE!!!!

If ya didn't know, that's how you cry out Spirit's name in Arnese, the Anglo/Austrian dialect spoken by Ahnuld, the One True Governator, in the movie Predator (when the former dies).

Throughout the whole movie, Billy Sole (Sonny "I-used-to-be-a-porn-star-then-I-fought-a-Predator-with-nothing-but-a-big-ass-knife-and-now-I-wanna-be-your-governor-of-Kentucky" Landham) is the team's tracker and does Major Alan "Dutch" Schafer's (Arnie's) bidding throughout, except when he doesn't "get to dah choppa" and dies.

"Beelie, scowd uh-head," "Beelie, look fuh tracks," "Beelie, cook my stu," or "Beelie, strip, throw away your weapons, ahn take ahn da Predatuh," "Oh and Beelie, I'm Oudda Heeyah."

Ok, so maybe Dutch didn't say those things to Billy.  But who can forget the most memorable death scene that was never shown?  Was it too graphic?  Must've been, because the scream didn't match the crazed look in ol' Billy's eyes, the giant knife in his hand, and the macho way he cut himself on the chest just to show the Predator how tough he was.

I vividly remember the scene from the very first time I saw the movie especially since I didn't actually see the Predator tear him apart.  I must've been 5 or 6.  The nightmares I had.  And now I can relive them, through the Pursuit of Cobra line and this wonderful Spirit Iron Knife figure that mysteriously looks a helluva lot like Billy.

Enough prattling about Predator from me--let's see if the figure turns out to be as cool as the character!  Which one, you say?  Both of 'em!  No, not Duke and the Predator.  Billy Sole and Spirit Iron Knife!

Masters of the Universe Classics Keldor

Before there was He-Man, there was Prince Adam.  And before there was Skeletor, there was...Keldor!

But of course, you all knew this already, if you watched the 200X Masters of the Universe Animated Series.  Like the Count Marzo character, Keldor remains memorable simply because he's background to the Biggest Baddie on Eternia.  You can't forget him because he's been written as the half-brother of King Randor, which also makes him Prince Adam's Half-Uncle.  And the best part is: he's good-looking.  He's got the flowing locks and that roguish goatee--he looks nothing like Skeletor!

What I also like about Keldor is that he explains lots about ol' Bonehead: his blue skin, his source of power (practically made a deal with the Devil when he promised to help out Hordak), and most of all, his motivation for hating King Randor.

On top of all of that, he provides a way for the coming of Hordak to Eternia that doesn't involve She-Ra.  As much as some MOTU fans didn't like the 200X series, you still have to give credit to the writers for coming up with a brilliant character idea like Keldor!

And so here is immortalized in Classics form despite being a 200X character--one of the better characters and toys of the line, I might add.